I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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