Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
