the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
