shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
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