Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
