Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
