whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I am midnight drunk by noon
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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