Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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