Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize