good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
