Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
