he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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