there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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