All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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