i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
