if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
