I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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