You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
