so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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