just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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