You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
