hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize