Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
