alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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