i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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