omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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