Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
