At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Houston, we have a squirter
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
