You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
