he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
