so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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