Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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