dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
