You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
