So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
