i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
