My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
