Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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