My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
