Porn is love you can see.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
