he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
