Screwed.edu
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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