My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
this hospital has no fireball
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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