I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
