Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
