It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize