I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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