I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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