i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
