Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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