that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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