I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize