i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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