Don't you send me to vm
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Randomize
