these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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