I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
