so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
