In the future we'll all be gay
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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