oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize