This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
