I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
