I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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