I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Non-Jews are for practice
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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