Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
